Dodgers Win National League Pennant, Giants Fans Remain Miserable Sources Say

World Series 2017

The Los Angeles Dodgers have won their first National League pennant since 1988. The boys in blue will be going to the World Series for the first time in 29 years after they defeated the Cubs in the National League Championship Series on Thursday night slamming the sad sack Cubs 11-1 in game 5 at Wrigley Field.

Reports are indicating that gloom and despair has struck all across San Francisco and the Giant’s blogosphere in response to the Dodgers winning the National League pennant. Long time editor/writer of SBNation’s San Francisco Giants blog Mccoveychronicles and insufferable Giants fan Grant Brisbee declined to comment on the Dodgers pennant.

“Get away from me!” Brisbee snapped at reporters. “Look I’m happy for Clayton Kershaw, but I don’t want to talk about this right now!” “Seriously, get those microphones out of my face!” “Get out of here, Go away!”

Fellow Giants writer at Mccoveychronicles Doug Bruzzone was also upset, sources say. “I just don’t get it!” Bruzzone stated as he threw his hands up exasperated by the Dodger’s excellence. “My posts have always worked, I’m always able to jinx the Dodgers in October when I write these articles”. The frustrated San Francisco blogger added, “It didn’t work this time.” “They’re just too damned good”. “They just don’t lose”.

Brisbee and Bruzzone weren’t the only Giants bloggers feeling sad about the Dodgers clinching their first World Series appearance in almost 30 years. Another Giants blogger who writes at MccoveyChronicles Sami (last name unknown) clung to a 2014 San Francisco Giants World Series championship hat covered in cobwebs as the Giants writer’s eyes filled with tears.

“I can’t believe this is happening!” Sami opined. “The Dodgers are playing for the championship, and they’ll probably win it this year!”  “This is horrifying!”

Reports also confirmed that former San Francisco slugger and avid steroids user Barry Bonds is unhappy. When reached for comment Bonds said that he expressed regret that his Giants clubs never won the World Series. “We just couldn’t do it, no matter how much I was juicing.” Bonds said as he drowned his sorrows in his pumpkin spiced frappacino. “This is a sad day for Giants fans”.

Giants fans are miserable, newswires say. “OMG our reign is over!” One salty Giants fan screamed as he put his hands on his head. “Noooooooo!!!!” The tormented Giants fan yelled as he realized that the Dodgers were likely to win their first World Series championship since 1988. “Noooooooo!!! Please god nooooooooo!!!” He shouted at reporters.

Reports also confirm that the Giants were very bad in 2017 as they finished with a 64-98 record, placing dead last in the National League West division. Sources are reporting that the Giants haven’t played a game since October 1, and will not play another game at AT&T Park until April of 2018.

Here is a list of the San Francisco Giants players that have not and will not participate in the 2017 MLB postseason……

Buster Posey

Madison Bumgarner

Hunter Pence

Brandon Belt

Joe Panik

Nick Hundley

Johnny Cueto

Brandon Crawford

Denard Span

Jarrett Parker

Mac Williamson

Kelby Tomlinson

The entire Giants organization

 

Reports also confirm that former Dodgers manager and hall of famer Tommy Lasorda smiled and is happy.

Sources say that the Dodgers will be a baseball powerhouse for many years to come, while the Giants will remain horrible for an undetermined amount of time. Congratulations Dodgers! Good luck in the World Series which starts Tuesday night at Dodger Stadium.

Scott Andes

Scott Andes

Scott Andes: Former Co-editor of Lasorda's Lair. Longtime writer and Dodger fanatic Cheap MLB Tickets

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